Misconceptions About Me

Before I get on to answering this question, (Yes I am going to just ignore the fact I haven't updated this in months, deal.) I'd just like to quickly mention what a massive mind game writing this actually is. Trying to not only see yourself in the eyes of others, but to then also try to see what people have wrong about you is a very surreal experience to say the least. Now on to the question!

So I think that a lot of people get the impression that I am an apathetic person. I can totally understand why people would get this impression of me since I know there are many times that I will vocally express my lack of care for a particular idea or thing. Even as some people would call it, "inappropriate" to blatantly express such disinterest in a topic but eh, what do I care? Now some people have the particular circumstance of seeing or hearing me express this disinterest of things in a rapid succession and have arrived at the conclusion that I simply don't care about anything at all! While I can understand why a person might have come to this conclusion, since it isn't the biggest jump to make I can assure you that this is far from true!

Than what is true one might ask? Simply that while there are many things that I really don't care about there are some that I truly and honestly do care about, and believe me I care quite deeply about these things. My family and friends stick out as people I care quite a bit about, but that much should be obvious though? I also have a deep appreciation for music, movies, games, E-sports, comedy, and funnily enough, freedom. These are just a handful of things that I care about, but are probably some of the things I care the most about. So the next time you are thinking about me (come on you do it all the time!) and your mind turns to apathy try to steer away from that line of thought. If you think I'm lying right now just be sure to try and cause some sort of outburst of emotion from me by saying really silly things like, "Attack of the Clones is actually a pretty good movie." or "Wouldn't it just be better if the government was in control of the internet?" I'm sure I'll have some sort of emotionally charged statement to give about that. Peace out buds.

Seriously, this movie is such garbage and don't you dare try to defend it. 

Something I Miss

Alright, so I obviously fell pretty hard behind in this challenge, but now that I've got everything figured out and I'm ready to ease into the more slack summer times I can actually sink my teeth in a bit and hopefully keep steady on this challenge. So Last we left off was, "Something I Miss."

This one isn't terribly hard I suppose, I miss a certain aspect of being in high school, not actually being back because please now let's not ever do that again, but I do miss how trivial all my problems were back then. Like seriously nothing I stressed out about actually meant anything in reality. Random high school drama is so dumb and it would be sort of nice to go back to such a simpler time, however the back draw to that is that not a whole lot I did meant anything either, like my grades have some effect on me, but I did plenty well enough to get into University, and beyond that the only thing that had any real meaning on that was the relationships I built over those three years. Those have stayed intact for the most part at least, but I spend more of my free time with people I met/got to know post high school now then people I did go to high school with, and frankly I don't see that changing anytime soon. That's just something that should happen naturally as we all grow up and live our own lives. So yeah, I kind of miss how carefree high school was, but not nearly enough to actually want to go back in any way shape or form. Sorry that this one is boring and short, but that's all I really have to say on the matter. Peace buds.

An adorable puppy cause science. 

Photo Sourced from Imgur.

My Favorite Place to Eat.

Well darn it all, this one is so much easier and light-hearted to do so let's just get right down to it. So picking my favorite place to eat was supposed to be a rather simple process, I already knew the place so a few quick words about it and we'll be done right? Wrong, the freaking place has closed since I was last there. whattajoke. Therefore I have decreed to forgo specifically naming one restaurant as my favorite entirely in remembrance for my fallen brother Ginza of Salt Lake City. RIP my good friend, you did honorable things in life.

So now what will I write about? Easy, What kind of place is my favorite to eat at? Pretty straight-forward since Ginza is a sushi joint, sushi joints are my favorite place to eat. The most obvious reason for this is that I love eating sushi. It's freaking delicious. If you are one of those people that are thinking to yourself, "Ewww sushi is so gross." but you've never actually had sushi. Stop yourself right there, try and then come trash talk it. Otherwise your opinion is totally invalid in my mind. You wanna know what's like the best part about eating sushi? It's insanely hard to really over eat it. Even at an all you can eat sushi joint where I've consumed an insane amount of food I've always been able to leave the place and not feel totally stuffed an needing to not do anything for a few hours while the food is digesting, I can always job right into the next activity. It's totally awesome.

Another reason I really like sushi joints also because I'm usually a pretty social eater, when I sit down for a meal with people I'm often more interested in having a conversation over the meal rather than actually eating the meal. I feel like sushi goes well with this. You can pick up a piece, eat it and then go on with your conversation pretty easily. You almost always have a ice-breaking tool in either your ability or in-ability to handle chopsticks. It's always been a social experience for me to sit down and eat some sushi with friends/family and that's something I really like. Sometimes when you go to a nice steakhouse you just get so darn focused on your steak you forget that you came with a bunch of people and don't talk to them at all. Not fun. Delicious, but not fun.

Man I really wish there was more to say about this, but that's all there really is. I like sushi, and the social experience that goes along with it. So know that I'm almost always down to go grab some sushi, even if you've never had it before, I'd love to show some people the delicious treat that is raw fish. Peace buds.

dang doesn't that look yummy?

A Big ole' What If?

So I didn't get anything up on Tuesday, and my excuse for that is that I had thought I was talking about mainstream music, so I had been thinking a fair bit about that, only to find out that I'm writing about what ifs. Well alright, I guess I'm doing some more thinking, and yes I do in fact think about the things I write, maybe not in terms of making outlines and rough drafts, but I do take some time to think the idea over and then get to work on writing it.

So we're talking a big what if today? Cool, so when I thought about this naturally the angsty teenage part of my mind that still exists went absolutely ballistic and arrived at the question of, "What if I got cancer and died?" Yeah, we're going there today. Gonna be so much fun right?

So as I thought this through, I kind of split it into two areas for this particular scenario. Part one is Diagnosis and Treatment. So that takes me first to how would I break the news to people? It seems wise to me that I would inform family and close friends ASAP via private communications (Skype calls, Phone, FB messages for those not immediately available, that kind of stuff) and then that's kind of just it. No big FaceBook post to inform people, I'll tell who I think aught to know and if other people would wan to know then they would ask me right? So now people know, and I imagine I'd move back home quickly and begin treatment there. I wouldn't go to school during treatment, even if I survived  (Which I don't in this hypothetical scenario) I have no intentions of adding that stress onto myself at that time. For the first few months I'd imagine I would still be healthy enough to go and work a simple job so I'd defiantly keep doing that. Having something else to just keep my mind occupied would be nice and it would allow me to accrue some cash to go out and do some of the things I would want to do like travel if that would be possible.  For the sake of this scenario we'll assume I live for another year after diagnosis K? The entire experience would be recorded here on this blog since I've done a terrible job at keeping a journal and I would need something to record my life story (as little as there may be to it.) So that someone could potentially read it later on. Would be nice to have something people could refer to instead of just word of mouth. I'd probably also write a bunch of stuff in some notebooks so there would be a physical copy in case the Google lost the data for whatever reason. You know, back up plans?

So at this point I'm back home, working a little, recording my life story, and starting treatment. As far as that goes, I listen to what my doctors tell me and follow their instructions, I'd probably do stuff my Dad told me to do as well since he has that medical expertise but beyond that, no weird treatments, no natural medicine. Just stick to what the doctors tell me. Psychologically I don't think I would struggle with this that terribly much with the idea of death. What do I know though, I don't think anyone that's been as healthy as I have been and is as young as me has really ever actually thought about the fact that at some point they're going to die. Way to morbid for us youngsters. I think I'd do alright though, mostly because I know that sometimes the cards really just don't play out in your favour and that's something you just have to accept.

Beyond just things that involve me, I'd also have some work to do with bringing all of the relationships with people I know to some sort of weird "Conclusion" Not like in a sense where I shut everyone out and stop interacting with people, but more along the lines of making amends for the wrongs I've done to people, forgiving those I've wrongly held grudges against, (Basically anyone I have a grudge with) Telling all the people I honestly dislike that I dislike them and why, although this part comes much later in the process, and finally making sure that all the people that I genuinely love know how much I care about them. I think that's something I'm pretty bad at, letting people know how much I appreciate them, might be something to do with the stubborn sarcasm that's always spilling out of my mouth. Seriously though, make sure important people know they're important. I think I should also note that there is absolutely no chance that I'd start a relationship with anyone if this happened. I feel like it would be a worst case scenario if I fell in love at this time, or even worse what if I married someone and left a widow at that age? Augh.... Just no.

 Weird thoughts about widows aside, now we've reached the point where I'm really not healthy enough to do much of anything and that leaves just a couple of key decisions left to be made. Do I sit down and peacefully accept death as it comes, or do I go out in a blaze of glory/yolo and do something really dumb. I'd probably just flip a coin to decide what I do at that point. Would be kind of funny if I had cancer for all that time and then just went down in some dumb drag race with a beat-up Honda civic or something. Assuming I do the less stupid thing though I'm probably going to be spending my last days in a hospital bed or similar situation. Now the last decision occurs, I think ideally I would actually want my passing to be a rather unknown affair, like I just slip away during the night. Don't really like the idea of having like family/friends there to watch the life leave my eyes, because dang does that every sound depressing. Obviously other people need some time to get like final goodbyes done with, but after that it becomes a bit of a moot point, so yeah I'd just kind of let it happen in the middle of the night or something. I hear about that, when people are near the edge like that they just sort of let go (LET IT GO!) and pass away. I want to be listening to something really cool like Stairway to Heaven when I go though, cause that's just cool.

Now we've reached part 2. Admittedly this part is quite a bit shorter, cause I'm done making decisions at this point really. Also this is kind of the part that really sucks for me, just saying. I think the only logical place for me to be buried (Yeah I'd be buried, no cremation unless I start the fire, you know what I'm saying? Man that's dark and probably not that funny.) is in Magrath, It just makes sense. Weird to think about being buried in that cemetery though, I've mowed it countless times now and it doesn't really feel that different being there than other places. Regardless, funeral service I hope would be pretty simple, nothing fancy.

As for how I'd be remembered, all I can really ask for is that people remember me as a person that had stuck to his guns and did what he thought was right. Also that I had passion. I'd absolutely hate to be remembered as an apathetic person. Whether or not people liked me for that, thought I was funny, nice, or anything like that doesn't really matter that much in comparison to the first three I mentioned.

Alright I'm done. That was pretty dark, and weird to think about. Hopefully it made for an interesting read though, because it was defiantly an interesting thing to think about. Especially once you get past the idea of thinking like, "What if I died? Well that would suck" and actually explore the idea more in depth. I don't think I even went that deep though, good enough for now though. I don't think this challenge can really get darker than this one though, hopefully this is the only one where death, and mine in particular, is the central topic. Peace buds.

This is roughly how I would like to be remembered

Ten People Who Influenced Me?

 Alright so I didn't get this done on Thursday, but I'm going to say I have a good excuse so it goes up on today instead. So I'm supposed to go over ten people who have influence me today. Thinking of ten people who have influenced me and how they influenced me might be a bit difficult, none the less I will give it a shot. Let us remember that the number on the list does not indicate level of influence just which ones I wrote first. The exception being #1/2 since that's just true.

#1/2. My Parents. I'm going to put the two of them together unless I really can't think of ten specific examples, then I'll cheat and count them as two. Beyond that I couldn't imagine having a list like this and not mentioning them. They raised me for crying out loud! Like how much more influential can you be on a person's life? Like seriously, they gave me all the basic foundations that would later lead into pretty much any good characteristics I've developed in my life. My negative ones are likely a result of me not listening to them either so there's that.

#3. Bishop Boyes. I can't think of any particular characteristics about Clay Boyes that really made him so influential to me, I know that if I'm ever in a lost in the wilderness type of situation that he's the person I want with me though. I think though it was his humility that always stuck out to me though, despite being a pretty great man you would've never guessed it from his mannerisms, he seems the perfect example of someone who is leading a regular life and is then thrust into the spotlight. After being pushed that far though, he never faltered, simple grew at his own pace and flourished because of it.

#4/5. John Spencer/Brad Smith. I'm only lumping these two together cause they've both influenced me in the exact same way. They both seem to completely lack social inhibitions that would normally keep a person from expressing themselves 100%. This leads to both of these individuals being completely themselves at any given time and that level of drive to be yourself is something I can truly appreciative and seek after myself. Here's to becoming less #Filtered.

#6. Keane. There had to be a band in here somewhere right? Keane wins my personal award for having the most influence on my thinking out of any musical group and therefore I award them this prestigious spot on this arbitrary list.

#7. Duncan "Thoorin" Shields. This guy is probably a tool, but he does incredible journalistic work in E-sports and I hope that one day I can give this kind of quality content out in whatever field I work in. I'll lump in Slasher in here as well cause that guy doesn't give a care in the world if people hate him, so long as they still let their players take interviews from him.

#8. Alysa Lybbert. This crazy freaking girl will without a doubt in my mind stick to her guns no matter the situation so long as there is a chance that she's still correct. It's not even out of stubbornness (Usually) but a sincere idea that she's correct. Wait a minute. Yeah it's just stubbornness. Oh well, I said she influenced me, not that I intend to copy her methods. Still good.

This is where the list actually gets a bit harder, because I can think of several people that influenced me, but now I have to decide who I put on the list. I'd probably just be safer putting whoever might actually read this so they can feel good about themselves/not feel snubbed by me. So I'll do that regardless if they would've made this list of ten. I'm not ranking who is the most influential just ten people who are/were influential on me.

#9. Samara Dewey. This woman ( I think I have to say woman now that she's married) taught me an awful lot of things, but the biggest one I think is simple loyalty. She's a fiercely loyal person and I hope that I can one day reach that level of commitment to those I care about.

#10. Kim Passey. So maybe she's here cause I think she'll tear me a new one if I included Samara and not her, but regardless I have learned quite a bit from her. The biggest lesson I learned from her though was that thinking objectively doesn't mean that you can hold grudges/not forgive a person. No matter how far you think a person can fall don't be shocked when they not only get back up, but are even taller than they were before.

Wow didn't that get a little heavy right at the end there, but I unfortunately don't have time to dwell on that because I have to get a whole new post done today in order to keep on track with this challenge. So I hope you enjoyed or at least didn't hate what I had to say. Peace buds.

Miss Wedding. Blog Instead.

My oh my Makinna. I thought I'd have some more time to put this little piece together, but as it turns out my procrastination got the better of me yet again. None the less I feel like it would still be a good idea if I celebrated marriage by boosting your ego with some nice words, also I'm kind of a bad friend and missed your wedding and need to make up for it a bit. That's not the important thing though! The important thing is that you had a wedding! So I'm going to stop ranting and just go on with the whole ego boosting bit I was talking about before.

If i only received one word to describe Makinna Kristensen with I would without a doubt in my mind go with wing-nut. Yeah... I really feel like that word totally captures everything about her. Wing-nut. Whatta word. Jokes aside though I'd really go with consistent. I use consistent because for the very limited time that I've known her, and no matter what the context of a situation was I could count on the fact that Makinna's attitude and behaviors wouldn't change.  She's almost always caring, kind and willing to sacrifice for others. Willing to lend her ear to a friend that needs someone to talk to, all that lovely jazz. Ninety-Nine out of a hundred times this would be good. Sometimes I'd be hoping she'd let me off easy for something stupid I said, but being ever consistent individual I would get slammed for it. She's surprisingly good at subtle slamming a person into the ground with a clever thought or phrase. I know subtle isn't exactly a word many would use in any sort of a description of Makinna, but it's true.

Beyond her consistency I've always thought of Makinna as a very intelligent sort of person in the sense of understanding her surroundings and the people that filled them up. There is this unspoken ability to just understand how another person thinks and know what their action will be based on that. Makinna has it. I think that's probably what allows her to be so consistent, because she is able to predict very accurately how a situation will play out and react accordingly.

Alright, that's enough of the ego inflation for one sitting. I'd like to kinda wrap this mess or words up with thanking you for being nothing short of an absolutely fantastic friend to me. You truly are one of the shining examples of what I think a person aught to be like. (Here I thought I'd stop inflating your ego!) This is normally where I say something like, "I hope you have a very happy and successful marriage!" But I don't have to because I've seen you and Calvin together, There can be no doubts that your marriage will be fantastic. Congratulations on progressing forward with your life and here's to me one day joining you in the married club! (ROFL good one Jonny!) Sorry again for missing your wedding today, but I'm sure I'll apologize for that like a hundred more times at least.

Shoutouts and Feeling Good!

               It has been quite the week let me tell you. Filled with all sorts of experiences and feelings. Some good and some bad, but in an effort to stick to what I was talking about in my last post I am going to be focusing solely on the positive things from my last week. I’ll talk about two three things in particular.

               The smaller one was that I once again returned to the work force back under the employ of the Town of Magrath. Even though I haven’t been paid yet for my work it feels really great to one know that there is income that will be coming in and secondly that I actually have something to do during the day now! Man, you would be surprised what full time work can do for a guy that’s bored, suddenly I hardly feel like I have spare time at all and its awesome!

               The big one that I really want to talk about was the opportunity I had to see one of my absolute best friends and a critical figure of my life get married to the man she loves. Big congratulations to Samara and Scott Dewey! It was so easy to see from the way they look at each other that they have a bond that is simply unbreakable. I’m thrilled that she found someone so good for her. I've probably talked about this before, but I've always felt like I had this “Duty” to ensure that the two Lybbert girls that I knew well ended up happy and with good people for them. I think this because I feel like I owe it to them. In reality any positive attribute I've developed over the past few years could in one way or another be attributed to something they did to help me grow.  I know for a fact that neither one of them realizes what they've done for me over the years. So yeah, it was important for me to see her so happy with Scott and I would be a liar if I told you that I didn't shed a tear during that day. Augh, how embarrassing.

               This isn't quite as long as I wanted so I’ll throw another positive thing that came out of a negative thing. Suffice to say there was drama this week and I got to discover that a friend of mine is a truly outstanding individual. I haven’t had the chance to properly thank Makinna Kristensen for how helpful she was this past week. I most definitely owe her one. 

               Well this was nice, I like all these positive feelings and such. Maybe I should like try to keep this positive vibe going. confirmed, Being positive is good. Jonny Tollestrup 2013. You can quote me on that. 

Unrelated picture of Fiji cause I can. 

Change of Plans Folks!

               Right, so I’m going to go ahead and change up the summer goal deal. I’m only changing the goals in regards to gaming so really no one ought to care much for it. Originally I set out to complete a run through of Ocarina of Time, The Wind Waker and reach Diamond rank in Starcraft II. While it’s defiantly not that far out of reach to complete this, (Ocarnia of Time already done, Wind Waker can probably be complete in a single day with some dedication and a red bull and I finished Top 8 in platinum for the previous ladder season of Starcraft, which is basically as close to diamond you can get without actually making it.) I've decided it’s not really what I want from my gaming experience right now.  

               What do I mean when I say that’s not what I want from a gaming experience right now? Simple really, I play games for one of two reasons. First being I like becoming immersed in a new world and all of the cool details that go along with it. That normally lies within a Single player game when the narrative or game play is the driving feature. The Second reason is that I’m competitive and I can win at them. This is where Starcraft and League of Legends come in, and at the moment it’s really all I've been playing, and I’m getting increasingly more frustrated every time I play them. I play games because I enjoy them, and in reality I’m just not enjoying games like Starcraft or League right now. So I’m taking an indefinite break from them until I feel like I've “ Calmed the freak down.”

My average face while playing League, Witnesses can confirm unfortunately.  

               My plan to calm down is going to come by rediscovering the first reason I play games. I've always greatly enjoyed the experience of becoming part of a completely different world. That’s why I particularly love games like Mass Effect, Skyrim, Dragon Age, and The Legend of Zelda. They are all these fantastical worlds that simply don’t exist in reality but are very interesting to explore and learn about. So for the time being I’m going to focus on playing single player games and trying to remember why I love games in the first place. It’s like a good movie really, because you kinda forget that you’re just a viewer or player and simply become part of the world. It’s partially why I like games so much, just by the very nature of you participating in a game makes them feel more immersive. You know? Maybe not, but it’s true.

               Taking a break from games like League does leave me in a mild dilemma though, how on earth am I supposed to help my friend Seth with his not sure if serious or not idea of making a gaming Youtube channel if I’m not playing the leagues with him? Let’s play’s? Come on, no one really wants to watch someone like me with no presence in any gaming community play through what can easily be a 20 hour game like Mass Effect. So with the power of editing I plan on making simple highlight stuff. Parts of games that I think people need to know why they make those games good. Maybe look at freak out about how dumb I think that game design has changed so dramatically in the past twenty years. (It’s no actually dumb, it’s just be being a baby.) Who knows what’ll happen, I know it’ll be fun though. That’s why I’m doing it. Also the rare chance for dat YouTube money obviously. 

How Real am I?

               Jeez, I am just awful at keeping up with this eh?

               Anyways, let’s get a quick update going here. Since my last post I have become unemployed. I have been unemployed for this entire month. I decided to leave my previous employment for lack of better words, “Scheduling conflicts.” Getting consistent work was a struggle and I just decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle anymore.  It may have been smarter to just stay on until I had another job lined up, but it is what it is.  It’s also been quite the drain on my bank account. I learned how to do my own taxes though, so I guess that’s neat. I also learned how to make Sloppy joes, which sounds really easy and in reality it is pretty easy. Here’s my obligatory picture!

              

You can't really see the actual part I made, but trust me, it was good. 

               The really big thing that this month has given me is an insane amount of time to think. Like its just silly how much thinking I’ve been able to do this last month. There’s still a whole freaking week left in it to! My goodness. One of the really big things I’ve been thinking about though is me. No not in the ego driven oh my look how cool and awesome and good looking I am and everyone who doesn’t see that just doesn’t get me way. Ugh. Goodness that would be just awful. I’ll be frank, I’m not a very positive person to begin with (Shocking!) but the fact of the matter is that the person I’m hardest on has and probably will always be myself. I use the term Self-loathing when I describe it to other people and I often mask it jokes. While I do definitely think that if you don’t know how to laugh at yourself, for better or worse, you are going to have a bad time. For real.  However, just acknowledging your flaws through jokes is not enough. If a person isn’t even trying to fix those flaws with themselves and just continues to just joke about it, I kind of find it disgusting. This sucks, because I’ve been feeling like I have been like that for a while now. I’m making so little effort to really move forward with my life right now. I refuse to adopt an exercise schedule simply because of my laziness. I’ve been falling back on calling out people when they are being stupid, which is something I actually liked about myself. I wasn’t afraid to tell someone that what they were doing isn’t smart at all. I really haven’t been doing that. I’m working on that though, so I guess it’s not a total loss there. I’ve continually allowed my diet to remain absolutely abysmal. I’m not looking for new and interesting music, just listening to the same stuff over and over. The only thing I really have going for me right now is that I am in fact going to be attending school in the fall. As my sister so eloquently put it, “Yay for real life plans!” Lastly I feel like I’ve totally lost touch with what I can do with my sarcasm. I used to be able to pretty accurately pin down what jokes I could or could not make without legitimately upsetting someone. I just feel like I cross the line every bleeding time right now

.

               I guess I just needed to really take the time to call myself out on what a miserable human being I’ve been for the past few months. The goals I made for the summer were supposed to change that. I guess I’m really down right now because it’s really the first time that I’ve looked back and thought, “Man that guy from 6 months ago wasn’t such an idiot.” To clarify, I’ve always felt like I’ve made good progress as a person every few months and I just don’t feel like I have these last few. Only thing to do though is just step my game up, moping about it on the interenet doesn’t change anything. 

Starting Goals and a Bit of Real Talk

               Well I`ve crossed one and a fourth goals off of my list already, I mean one of them was my completion of a Pikmin run in thirteen in-game days. Each day is 15 minutes so my run was about three hour and fifteen minutes in total. That is my fastest run to date yet. Honestly I think I can cut a few days off if I did another run within the next few weeks, but I probably won`t be booting it back up again so quickly. Great game, although I know it well enough to make the game really easy. It`s less about wether or not I can win, but rather how long is will take before I win. Oh well, still a great game and definitely looking forward to playing the third one when it comes out.

               The fourth portion of a goal I completed though was a new dish I learned to cook. Lemon Chicken. Nothing complicated, but something that I wasn`t 100% sure how to make. So I learned how to make it. Cooking is like a lot of fun, did anyone else realize that? Maybe I’m just saying that because I only legitimately cook every once and a while, but I really do enjoy it when I do, definitely going to be cooking more in the future. Food tastes great and its cheaper, what more could I ask for? Anyways, the Lemon Chicken went well enough, didn’t light anything on fire or burn myself/the food so I’d call it a successful activity.

Yum. 

               Beyond that though, I had an intresting weekend as well, kinda. It was a good friend of mine’s homecoming, Keaton Moore. Loved seeing him again. Really cool to talk to him and  such. It’s always kind of awkward with these things being an early return, but that part wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Got to see some other faces I hadn’t seen in a while. Kind of sad to see where some of them are right now. Particularliy the people that I feel are being pushed into bad circumstances rather than being there as a result of their own decisions. One in particular was apparenly going through some rough stuff. I use the word “apparently” because I was kind of shocked about how well they seemed to be doing despite being in a rough patch. I’m happy they seem to be doing well but fear that it may be a act to keep the appearance of strong. That’s just pure speculation though, and only time will tell if any of it is true. I hope its not.

               Lastly another one of these 30 topic things. #25. Wouldl you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality? Peronsonality wins here hands down. I really think that if a person has an amazing personality and you do get the chance to get to know that personality then looks really won’t matter. I would be attracted to that person because of how awesome they are of a person. End of story. That sad truth is that lots of guys (myself included) don’t give the more normal looking girls that do have incredible personalitys the chance to show off that personality. I’ll admit that I did not introduce myself to many of the girls I consider now to be my best friends. I kind of had to be put into situations where I got to know them and I’m lucky that I did, because they are incredible people. They aren’t even plain looking either. I was just pretty stupid then. Still am. Probably will be for some time, but you know what I’m getting at here.  I didn’t give them the chance to let their personalities shine on my own, but rather simply learned about it by chance. I don’t regret it really, excpet I do think about how many really cool girls I didn’t get to know in my life because I simply didn’t give them a chance? Shouldn’t dwell on this, definitely going to get depressed if I do. Let’s stop right now. Thanks for reading if you get this far.