Confession Time!

I bet you all thought that since I started falling behind on these posts that the challenge was for all intents and purposes over? Wrong! I'm still going to get through this, and we're even going to get back on schedule, just not immediately. Something about having the majority of my finals in the next two days makes it harder to sit down and spend a considerable amount of time thinking about these blogs. So the plan for the next two weeks is to write a post for today, then write posts Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to get back on track. Simple right? So now that that is out of the way let's get into the fun part. Me confessing things, which I thought might be a bit difficult since I try to not have things to confess, not like I don't have bad habits or embarrassing stories, just that I'm pretty willing to tell people about them which leaves not so much to confess to people.  I think I've got three for today which should be good.

#1. I don't actually hate puns that much. I mean when I first started saying that I hated puns I really did hate them, just couldn't stand them, but I suppose I got desensitized to them because once people heard about this particular hatred they seemed compelled to tell me all the puns they could think of. So I've gotten used to them, and I even laugh at some of them from time to time. They are cheap laughs and I will never sway from that opinion, but they are laughs none the less and who am I to get in the way of a laugh?

#2. Birds are really just ok. I think my family will be the only ones that actually get a laugh out of this one, because I know that the easiest way to drive my mother bonkers is to say the simple line, "I like birds" The truth of it is that the line comes from a song by the Eels with the unsurprising title of "I like birds." Birds are still pretty cool cause they FREAKING FLY, but they are not the end all be all of creatures.

So at this point, most of you are probably thinking that this post is just a joke now, so I'll hit you with a real confession now so you don't feel like I was just messing around the whole time, cause it was really only like 84% of the time that I was. Anyways, this last confession is going to sound kinda sad, but I`ll try to explain my thinking of how it`s kind of ok. Ok?

#3. I generally put the blame for anything that doesn't go my way on myself. Even things that seem like really obviously not my fault like walking down a hallway and some runs into me I'll think to myself, "Well I could have been paying more attention to where I was going." Something like that. This is probably why I get really frustrated playing games like League of Legends, because you have to coordinate with a team in order to win in that game, but if I lose I will certainly blame it on my own personal play. This thinking works out ok for me right now because I use it as a drive to constantly improve at anything I do. I also don't particularly like blaming people. I just feel bad about it after, even if it's totally justified. It seems so much simpler if it's just my fault cause it's easy to legitimately criticize myself since I know all myself pretty well. In short, if something I'm involved with goes downhill I'll probably blame myself, but not in a dopey self-destructive kind of way, more along the lines of "That sucks and I suck, but I know how to do better now at least."

Right, so I'm pretty darn far behind right now, I think I need two more plus one on Thursday to catch back up. I probably won't do another one till Thursday though, so Thursday, Friday, Saturday and maybe Sunday to catch up? Who knows. The next one will be

My bald head cause why not?

Why How I Met Your Mother Ended Well.

So I've recently (Like in the last twenty-four hours) finished the How I Met Your Mother T.V. series and contrary to popular belief I thought the series ended on a relatively high note. I certainly don't think that every character got their ideal ending, but that would've been ridiculous if that had happened and I think it works out better for the group it ends this way. It does make me a little sad knowing that Ted had to get snubbed the hardest to make this happen, since he was my personal favorite, if nothing cause he was the one that was consistently single and I'm consistently single as well so I connected with him. Regardless I'm going to go through each of the five major characters and give both a grade for their ending and why I gave it that grade. Marhsall/Lily (They're a unit) get a A, Robin get's an A-,  Barney receives a B+, and Ted scores the lowest with a B-. If it isn't already insanely obvious there are complete and total spoilers for those of you that haven't finished the series.

SPOILER ALERT

Stop reading now if you care about that sort of thing. 

So let's talk reasoning. Marshall and Lily are the real winner of the series since they both get to go and live their dream jobs, have a wonderful family and arguably the deepest relationship in the series. Seriously, they go to Italy, have more kids, Marshall becomes a judge and then makes the state supreme court and they somehow manage to keep their whole group together in the end even though they came insanely close to losing Robin, but I'm going to assume that with Ted and Robin getting back together she is able to more consistently make group outings since it's not such a huge pain for Robin so Lily keeps her best friend. Yes, the Eriksens do alright for themselves if I do say so myself.

Next up we get Robin. Initially I thought that Robin had the most satisfactory ending, but as I thought more about it, I had kind of hoped that her and Barney had made everything work out and could stay together. Alas, that was not meant to be as there were other factors in play, but she does get to have an incredible career as a news anchor all over the world (Is that even a thing?) and does eventually end up with the guy that was probably better for her in the end.

Let's talk Stinson, here's where I get into the other factors I mentioned with Robin. We're all aware of the fact that Robin can't have children, nor does she really want them anyways. Barney wants kids though, mostly I think so that he can have all the experiences of being a parent and having a family that he feels that he didn't get to have because of his father leaving. It feels weird that only by random chance that Barney actually does have a child, but it's all he needed to really change into the person he always could have been. I would've given him an A if there was something that confirmed that he and the mother of his child make it work, but with literally no info I'm forced to keep him at a B+.

Ted, Ted, Ted. It does suck quite a bit that his wife does die in the manner that she did, but it's also oddly appropriate. Ted only got the opportunity to meet her because the love of her life died early so it makes sense that something similar would happen to Ted. Ted without a doubt though met the love of his life though and got to have all those wonderful experiences that go along with that. You know, kids and all that jazz. It would have been better I think if the wife hadn't died obviously since she was like totally perfect for Ted, but having it this way allows for a better end for all the characters. The waiting six years thing makes it much better in my opinion as well since it makes it into a scenario where Ted wasn't just waiting for the opportunity to go after Robin again, but rather reinforcing that Tracy (The mother) was the one for him but its time to move on.

So in the end Ted and Barney didn't get what I would have ideally wanted for them, but this ending  is pretty good still. It's definitely not the best end to a T.V.  series in my opinion, but its far from the worst as well. That's my two cents at least.

This scene was absolutely adorable though and I'm not afraid to admit it. 

A Big ole' What If?

So I didn't get anything up on Tuesday, and my excuse for that is that I had thought I was talking about mainstream music, so I had been thinking a fair bit about that, only to find out that I'm writing about what ifs. Well alright, I guess I'm doing some more thinking, and yes I do in fact think about the things I write, maybe not in terms of making outlines and rough drafts, but I do take some time to think the idea over and then get to work on writing it.

So we're talking a big what if today? Cool, so when I thought about this naturally the angsty teenage part of my mind that still exists went absolutely ballistic and arrived at the question of, "What if I got cancer and died?" Yeah, we're going there today. Gonna be so much fun right?

So as I thought this through, I kind of split it into two areas for this particular scenario. Part one is Diagnosis and Treatment. So that takes me first to how would I break the news to people? It seems wise to me that I would inform family and close friends ASAP via private communications (Skype calls, Phone, FB messages for those not immediately available, that kind of stuff) and then that's kind of just it. No big FaceBook post to inform people, I'll tell who I think aught to know and if other people would wan to know then they would ask me right? So now people know, and I imagine I'd move back home quickly and begin treatment there. I wouldn't go to school during treatment, even if I survived  (Which I don't in this hypothetical scenario) I have no intentions of adding that stress onto myself at that time. For the first few months I'd imagine I would still be healthy enough to go and work a simple job so I'd defiantly keep doing that. Having something else to just keep my mind occupied would be nice and it would allow me to accrue some cash to go out and do some of the things I would want to do like travel if that would be possible.  For the sake of this scenario we'll assume I live for another year after diagnosis K? The entire experience would be recorded here on this blog since I've done a terrible job at keeping a journal and I would need something to record my life story (as little as there may be to it.) So that someone could potentially read it later on. Would be nice to have something people could refer to instead of just word of mouth. I'd probably also write a bunch of stuff in some notebooks so there would be a physical copy in case the Google lost the data for whatever reason. You know, back up plans?

So at this point I'm back home, working a little, recording my life story, and starting treatment. As far as that goes, I listen to what my doctors tell me and follow their instructions, I'd probably do stuff my Dad told me to do as well since he has that medical expertise but beyond that, no weird treatments, no natural medicine. Just stick to what the doctors tell me. Psychologically I don't think I would struggle with this that terribly much with the idea of death. What do I know though, I don't think anyone that's been as healthy as I have been and is as young as me has really ever actually thought about the fact that at some point they're going to die. Way to morbid for us youngsters. I think I'd do alright though, mostly because I know that sometimes the cards really just don't play out in your favour and that's something you just have to accept.

Beyond just things that involve me, I'd also have some work to do with bringing all of the relationships with people I know to some sort of weird "Conclusion" Not like in a sense where I shut everyone out and stop interacting with people, but more along the lines of making amends for the wrongs I've done to people, forgiving those I've wrongly held grudges against, (Basically anyone I have a grudge with) Telling all the people I honestly dislike that I dislike them and why, although this part comes much later in the process, and finally making sure that all the people that I genuinely love know how much I care about them. I think that's something I'm pretty bad at, letting people know how much I appreciate them, might be something to do with the stubborn sarcasm that's always spilling out of my mouth. Seriously though, make sure important people know they're important. I think I should also note that there is absolutely no chance that I'd start a relationship with anyone if this happened. I feel like it would be a worst case scenario if I fell in love at this time, or even worse what if I married someone and left a widow at that age? Augh.... Just no.

 Weird thoughts about widows aside, now we've reached the point where I'm really not healthy enough to do much of anything and that leaves just a couple of key decisions left to be made. Do I sit down and peacefully accept death as it comes, or do I go out in a blaze of glory/yolo and do something really dumb. I'd probably just flip a coin to decide what I do at that point. Would be kind of funny if I had cancer for all that time and then just went down in some dumb drag race with a beat-up Honda civic or something. Assuming I do the less stupid thing though I'm probably going to be spending my last days in a hospital bed or similar situation. Now the last decision occurs, I think ideally I would actually want my passing to be a rather unknown affair, like I just slip away during the night. Don't really like the idea of having like family/friends there to watch the life leave my eyes, because dang does that every sound depressing. Obviously other people need some time to get like final goodbyes done with, but after that it becomes a bit of a moot point, so yeah I'd just kind of let it happen in the middle of the night or something. I hear about that, when people are near the edge like that they just sort of let go (LET IT GO!) and pass away. I want to be listening to something really cool like Stairway to Heaven when I go though, cause that's just cool.

Now we've reached part 2. Admittedly this part is quite a bit shorter, cause I'm done making decisions at this point really. Also this is kind of the part that really sucks for me, just saying. I think the only logical place for me to be buried (Yeah I'd be buried, no cremation unless I start the fire, you know what I'm saying? Man that's dark and probably not that funny.) is in Magrath, It just makes sense. Weird to think about being buried in that cemetery though, I've mowed it countless times now and it doesn't really feel that different being there than other places. Regardless, funeral service I hope would be pretty simple, nothing fancy.

As for how I'd be remembered, all I can really ask for is that people remember me as a person that had stuck to his guns and did what he thought was right. Also that I had passion. I'd absolutely hate to be remembered as an apathetic person. Whether or not people liked me for that, thought I was funny, nice, or anything like that doesn't really matter that much in comparison to the first three I mentioned.

Alright I'm done. That was pretty dark, and weird to think about. Hopefully it made for an interesting read though, because it was defiantly an interesting thing to think about. Especially once you get past the idea of thinking like, "What if I died? Well that would suck" and actually explore the idea more in depth. I don't think I even went that deep though, good enough for now though. I don't think this challenge can really get darker than this one though, hopefully this is the only one where death, and mine in particular, is the central topic. Peace buds.

This is roughly how I would like to be remembered

Ten People Who Influenced Me?

 Alright so I didn't get this done on Thursday, but I'm going to say I have a good excuse so it goes up on today instead. So I'm supposed to go over ten people who have influence me today. Thinking of ten people who have influenced me and how they influenced me might be a bit difficult, none the less I will give it a shot. Let us remember that the number on the list does not indicate level of influence just which ones I wrote first. The exception being #1/2 since that's just true.

#1/2. My Parents. I'm going to put the two of them together unless I really can't think of ten specific examples, then I'll cheat and count them as two. Beyond that I couldn't imagine having a list like this and not mentioning them. They raised me for crying out loud! Like how much more influential can you be on a person's life? Like seriously, they gave me all the basic foundations that would later lead into pretty much any good characteristics I've developed in my life. My negative ones are likely a result of me not listening to them either so there's that.

#3. Bishop Boyes. I can't think of any particular characteristics about Clay Boyes that really made him so influential to me, I know that if I'm ever in a lost in the wilderness type of situation that he's the person I want with me though. I think though it was his humility that always stuck out to me though, despite being a pretty great man you would've never guessed it from his mannerisms, he seems the perfect example of someone who is leading a regular life and is then thrust into the spotlight. After being pushed that far though, he never faltered, simple grew at his own pace and flourished because of it.

#4/5. John Spencer/Brad Smith. I'm only lumping these two together cause they've both influenced me in the exact same way. They both seem to completely lack social inhibitions that would normally keep a person from expressing themselves 100%. This leads to both of these individuals being completely themselves at any given time and that level of drive to be yourself is something I can truly appreciative and seek after myself. Here's to becoming less #Filtered.

#6. Keane. There had to be a band in here somewhere right? Keane wins my personal award for having the most influence on my thinking out of any musical group and therefore I award them this prestigious spot on this arbitrary list.

#7. Duncan "Thoorin" Shields. This guy is probably a tool, but he does incredible journalistic work in E-sports and I hope that one day I can give this kind of quality content out in whatever field I work in. I'll lump in Slasher in here as well cause that guy doesn't give a care in the world if people hate him, so long as they still let their players take interviews from him.

#8. Alysa Lybbert. This crazy freaking girl will without a doubt in my mind stick to her guns no matter the situation so long as there is a chance that she's still correct. It's not even out of stubbornness (Usually) but a sincere idea that she's correct. Wait a minute. Yeah it's just stubbornness. Oh well, I said she influenced me, not that I intend to copy her methods. Still good.

This is where the list actually gets a bit harder, because I can think of several people that influenced me, but now I have to decide who I put on the list. I'd probably just be safer putting whoever might actually read this so they can feel good about themselves/not feel snubbed by me. So I'll do that regardless if they would've made this list of ten. I'm not ranking who is the most influential just ten people who are/were influential on me.

#9. Samara Dewey. This woman ( I think I have to say woman now that she's married) taught me an awful lot of things, but the biggest one I think is simple loyalty. She's a fiercely loyal person and I hope that I can one day reach that level of commitment to those I care about.

#10. Kim Passey. So maybe she's here cause I think she'll tear me a new one if I included Samara and not her, but regardless I have learned quite a bit from her. The biggest lesson I learned from her though was that thinking objectively doesn't mean that you can hold grudges/not forgive a person. No matter how far you think a person can fall don't be shocked when they not only get back up, but are even taller than they were before.

Wow didn't that get a little heavy right at the end there, but I unfortunately don't have time to dwell on that because I have to get a whole new post done today in order to keep on track with this challenge. So I hope you enjoyed or at least didn't hate what I had to say. Peace buds.

New Blog Challenges. For Artificial Motivation of Course!

Alright so I'm going to be starting up another one of these old blog challenge things. It will be slightly different than other ones though, mostly because I'm not specifically using an already set one. So no link to a flowery little tumblr page that will neatly (or sloppily depending on the list) line out what I'll be doing. Rather I went through five to ten different lists and nit-picked the topics I could actually write posts about. So you hopefully won't have to endure through any posts that have absolutely nothing to offer in terms of anything interesting. No questions like, "Would you date someone with plains looks and an amazing personality, or someone with amazing looks and a plain personality."  Which could be better worded as, "Are you shallow? Yes or no?" Now I don't want this to feel to heavy, so I've set it up in a manner that will be something like two more light hearted topics and then we'll have a more serious thoughts. With this I'll be presenting a "schedule" that should accompany this challenge. If you read this blog at all you know why the quotations are around schedule. So enough nonsense let's lay out this schedule and challenge topic list!

Tentative Schedule: Posts on Tuesday, Thursday, and over the weekend. Simple as that.

The glorious list of great topics that will grant you ghastly amounts of knowledge about myself!
#1. Ten People who Influenced Me.
#2. Celebrity Crushes V2.0! Who will stay and who will go! Link for Lazy.
#3. A Big "What If" I've Thought About..
#4. My Favorite Place to Eat.
#5. My Thoughts on Main Stream Music.
#6. Three Confessions.
#7. Something I Miss.
#8. A Guilty Pleasure.
#9. A Misunderstanding People Have About Me.
#10. My Dream Job.
#11. My Favorite Band Right Now.
#12. An Embarrassing Moment.
#13. What I Would do With Lottery Winnings.
#14. Five ways to my Heart.
#15. A Popular Notion I Think Society has Wrong.
#16. Where my Blog/Gamer Name came from.
#17. My Favorite Movie.
#18. What I Would say to my Sixteen Year Old Self.
#19. My Death Row Meal.
#20. My City.
#21. Three Legitimate Fears.
#22. Nicknames I've had.
#23. Favorite Pizza.
#24. What Makes me Unique?
#25. My Perfect 1st Date.
#26. Ten Random Songs From my Phone.
#27. Thoughts on Drugs/Alcohol.
#28. The Process of Writing one of These Cringe Shows.
#29. How is my Relationship (LOL!) or How is Being Single.
#30. How'd the Challenge Go?

There's a few more food ones than I remember putting initially, but whatever, I like food sue me. Looking forward to Getting this one going. See you on Thursday after when I'll talk about Influential people to me.

What Some of you are Thinking.